I didn't realize that I have so many insecurities, but the more I go through life, the more these insecurities keep popping up. The one that I have had since I've had babies is my body. If you saw the belly and the way it sometimes looks like my butt is now on my belly, you would know what I am talking about. Well this body has come to haunt me this week.
I had to have an ultrasound for my gall bladder this week. When my name was called to go back, I look up and there is a very young, good looking man. "Oh suck!" was my first thought. Then I see the student following him and my second thought was I was going to be the person that they talk about when I leave saying, "Holy crap did you see that belly?" I walked in very slowly.
Three days later it came to haunt me again. Me and my sister have had a dermatology appt. made for about a month to have our moles checked. We went together thinking that it would be less embarrassing. What I found out, though, was that you have to take of all your clothes and stand there while he examines you with a microscope!! What the CRAP! Who wants to stand there while a guy is looking an inch away from your face searching your entire body?
The sad truth is I was more worried about me having to stand there naked then I was about him finding a cancerous mole. A mole can be taken off, this belly is not going anywhere without some major nipping and tucking! So this week has made me rethink a lot of things. I think a tummy tuck is in my near future. And maybe some liposuction. An whatever else I can talk Chad into paying for. Am I vain? Yes. Do I feel bad? No. Should I? Maybe. Is that going to make me change my mind? Nope!
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10 comments:
Shell you are too cute. You and I can be friends. LOL I worry about my big o' belly coming up all the time. At least its once in a while. My kids jiggle my tummy to get my attention. Uh yeah that makes me giggle :P Anyways thanks for posting. :D You are beautiful just keep telling yourself that. And you are not like I. I am a huge whale.
Cute doctors/techs are the WORST! So was everything okay with your gallbladder? I had to have mine out years ago and the pain (before it was out) was the worst ever! Hope you're okay.
Haha that made me laugh! Come on now, it wasn't to bad! At least you didn't have the stomach flu while you were there like some other people did:)
Yea, we will see what you can get out of me. Sad part is it will be whatever you want.
Shell, I love you and I do feel your pain! My dad was making fun of Kate's tummy (before her tummy tuck) from Jon and Kate plus 8. I told him that mine looked like that and he said "ew sick!" Jason says its my battle wounds and I should be proud. Luckily we don't show our tummies very often, I never appreciated modesty until after I had kids. Now I am so thankful I am not tempted to wear 2 peice swimsuits or shirts that would show my belly!
I lovve you Shell. You are beautiful as you are.
I hope you know that you are too cute. I love your blog and know that everyone has their own insecurities. You are awesome.
I seriously don't know one single person that can stand buck naked in front of some strange man with a magnifying glass that is looking at every inch of their body and not feel insecure. I'm next month and I am totally dreading it! Ugh!
remind me to never have that done! It's bad enough going to the OB, standing naked, now that is a whole other playing field! That had me laughing though!
You HAVE GOT to QUIT bagging on yourself! You have so many good attributes. You are a wonderful mother to your (soon to be 4) kids and a great wife. You are always there for me to talk to if I need you and I always know that I can trust you. Your also always the peace maker...like when I call Angie out (he, he Ang) on something you make us stop arguing (kinda bugs me cuz sometimes I have good stuff to say!). I admire your strength to always continue and never giving up. You are dear to your parents, sister's, to Brad and I and most of all to your husband and children. These are the things that matter. Not the stretch marks on your belly (which you know I also have). Not your butt, or the size of it. You're a remarkable woman Michelle. I love you so much,
Sonja
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